His sentence: When we die, if we have lived good lives, our spirits float free of the earth, cross the stars and galaxies, and come at last to a world at the other side of the universe-Paradise.
From The Vampire's Assistant by Darren Shan
This is a cumulative sentence, because it uses many parallel phrases, to build up to the ultimate end, Paradise. The dash before the word "Paradise" is used to make the word stand out.
My sentence: We got up early that morning, drove out of the town, continued for hours, and finally reached our beautiful destination-Florida.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Sentence 9
His sentence: They were terrified of me...Darren Shan...a monster.
From The Vampire's Assistant by Darren Shan
The series of periods quickly and vividly describe the character. In this case, a monster.
My sentence: They envied him...John Tucker...the womanizer.
From The Vampire's Assistant by Darren Shan
The series of periods quickly and vividly describe the character. In this case, a monster.
My sentence: They envied him...John Tucker...the womanizer.
Sentence 8
His sentence: And before it snapped-had there been the slightest rustling sound, like something moving?
From The Vampire's Assistant by Darren Shan
The sentence begins with a conjunction and a dash to add to the fearful and confused thoughts of the character. The character is questioning what he thinks he has heard.
My sentence: But right before the phone rang-had there been a "thump" sound outside, like someone had stumbled by the living room window?
From The Vampire's Assistant by Darren Shan
The sentence begins with a conjunction and a dash to add to the fearful and confused thoughts of the character. The character is questioning what he thinks he has heard.
My sentence: But right before the phone rang-had there been a "thump" sound outside, like someone had stumbled by the living room window?
Sentence 7
His sentence: I'd always rather the truth-however unpleasant it might be-than a lie.
From Cirque Du Freak by Darren Shan
From Cirque Du Freak by Darren Shan
The thought within the set of dashes is used to emphasize the importance of the truth; rather than being told a lie just to avoid unpleasant feelings.
My sentence: Eric would never tell his friends-no matter the circumstances-what he had done.
Sentence 6
His sentence: If I'd run away, the misery could have lasted forever: they might have lived the rest of their lives hoping I'd come back, searching, believeing I would one day return.
From Cirque Du Freak by Darren Shan
The use of a colon connects two independent clauses. In the second clause, parallel structure is used, "hoping...searching...believing." This creates some stability in the sentence and also proves the relevance of the first clause.
My sentence: If he hadn't left, they could have been happy together: they might have continued on like normal, talking, laughing, and loving together.
From Cirque Du Freak by Darren Shan
The use of a colon connects two independent clauses. In the second clause, parallel structure is used, "hoping...searching...believing." This creates some stability in the sentence and also proves the relevance of the first clause.
My sentence: If he hadn't left, they could have been happy together: they might have continued on like normal, talking, laughing, and loving together.
Sentence 5
His sentence: But ordinary humans...I could rip them apart in a second.
From The Vampire's Assistant by Darren Shan
The series of periods is used to show the writer's pause in thought in order to put emphasis on the following clause.
My sentence: But my brother...I wanted to rip his head off.
From The Vampire's Assistant by Darren Shan
The series of periods is used to show the writer's pause in thought in order to put emphasis on the following clause.
My sentence: But my brother...I wanted to rip his head off.
Sentence 4
His sentence: The goat would die in the end, if we left it-there was no cure for Madam Octa's bite-but we shall finish it quickly.
From Cirque Du Freak by Darren Shan
The set of dashes interrupts the thought to explain what is going on; why the goat would die.
My sentence: We thought we would never get out-the haunted house was a maze-but we finally found our way to the much-anticipated end.
From Cirque Du Freak by Darren Shan
The set of dashes interrupts the thought to explain what is going on; why the goat would die.
My sentence: We thought we would never get out-the haunted house was a maze-but we finally found our way to the much-anticipated end.
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