Monday, October 12, 2009

Sentence 12

His sentence: I cleaned up their tent and rolled up their hammocks-they all slept in hammocks.

From The Vampire's Assistant by Darren Shan

The hyphen connects two independent clauses in which the second clause clarifies the first one.

My sentence: She quietly slid out her window and took off running, not stopping until she reached the hill-the friends always met at the top of the hill.

Sentence 11

His sentence: They were funny-looking people: long hair, strange clothes, weighed down with fancy earrings and bracelets.

From The Vampire's Assistant by Darren Shan

In this sentence, a colon is used to start a list of adjectives that described the subject of the first clause.

My sentence: They were incredibly creepy: dark blue cloaks, hidden faces, never talked.

Sentence 10

His sentence: When we die, if we have lived good lives, our spirits float free of the earth, cross the stars and galaxies, and come at last to a world at the other side of the universe-Paradise.

From The Vampire's Assistant by Darren Shan

This is a cumulative sentence, because it uses many parallel phrases, to build up to the ultimate end, Paradise. The dash before the word "Paradise" is used to make the word stand out.

My sentence: We got up early that morning, drove out of the town, continued for hours, and finally reached our beautiful destination-Florida.

Sentence 9

His sentence: They were terrified of me...Darren Shan...a monster.

From The Vampire's Assistant by Darren Shan

The series of periods quickly and vividly describe the character. In this case, a monster.

My sentence: They envied him...John Tucker...the womanizer.

Sentence 8

His sentence: And before it snapped-had there been the slightest rustling sound, like something moving?Italic

From The Vampire's Assistant by Darren Shan

The sentence begins with a conjunction and a dash to add to the fearful and confused thoughts of the character. The character is questioning what he thinks he has heard.

My sentence: But right before the phone rang-had there been a "thump" sound outside, like someone had stumbled by the living room window?

Sentence 7

His sentence: I'd always rather the truth-however unpleasant it might be-than a lie.

From Cirque Du Freak by Darren Shan

The thought within the set of dashes is used to emphasize the importance of the truth; rather than being told a lie just to avoid unpleasant feelings.

My sentence: Eric would never tell his friends-no matter the circumstances-what he had done.


Bold

Sentence 6

His sentence: If I'd run away, the misery could have lasted forever: they might have lived the rest of their lives hoping I'd come back, searching, believeing I would one day return.

From Cirque Du Freak by Darren Shan

The use of a colon connects two independent clauses. In the second clause, parallel structure is used, "hoping...searching...believing." This creates some stability in the sentence and also proves the relevance of the first clause.

My sentence: If he hadn't left, they could have been happy together: they might have continued on like normal, talking, laughing, and loving together.

Sentence 5

His sentence: But ordinary humans...I could rip them apart in a second.

From The Vampire's Assistant by Darren Shan

The series of periods is used to show the writer's pause in thought in order to put emphasis on the following clause.

My sentence: But my brother...I wanted to rip his head off.

Sentence 4

His sentence: The goat would die in the end, if we left it-there was no cure for Madam Octa's bite-but we shall finish it quickly.

From Cirque Du Freak by Darren Shan

The set of dashes interrupts the thought to explain what is going on; why the goat would die.

My sentence: We thought we would never get out-the haunted house was a maze-but we finally found our way to the much-anticipated end.

Sentence 3

His sentence: Mr. Crepsley produced a shiny tin whistle-he called it a flute-from his pants a blew a few short notes.
From Cirque Du Freak by Darren Shan

The use of dashes interrupts the writer's initial thought, further describing the "shiny tin whistle" to make it easier for the reader to understand the instrument.

My sentence: Taylor got out an elaborate necklace-it was made of diamonds and white gold-from her purse and fastened it around her neck.

Sentence 2

His Sentence: The ladies who had hypnotized the wolf-man came out with two carts full of food: cakes chips, hamburgers, packages of candy and heads of cabbage.
From Cirque Du Freak by Darren Shan.

The colon is used set off a list describing a noun from the independent clause before it.

My Sentence: The girls who had skipped school to shop finally left the mall carrying shopping bags full of new things: shirts, pants, skirts, shoes, and accessories.